Canis Canem Ed-It
by Sneezy-McSneeze-A-Ton
Summary: A bunch of business guys bought the Peach Creek property where the kids live, now the kids and their families need to relocate. Their parents chose New England. Goodbye Peach Creek Junior High, Hello Bullworth Academy...


Eddy: "I can't believe we have to move to this stupid town!"  
Double D: "It can't be helped, Eddy. The men who bought our cul-de-sac kicked us all out and our parents relocated us here."  
Eddy: "But why here of all places?! It's a dump!"

Eddy looks out of the bus window as he presents his friends to the trashed streets of Bullworth Town.

Double D: "But Eddy, just think. A new school, new people, I think it will be a great way to make a fresh start, don't you think so Ed?"  
Ed: "You betcha Double D! _*gasp*_ What if the people there are nice, and will welcome us in little arms like we are Dorothys coming to Munchkin Land!?"  
Eddy: "As if, lunkhead. And speaking of Munchkin Land, what are we wearing? These uniforms make me wanna barf."

Eddy wears a pair of khakis that are sizes too big, a white short-sleeve button-up shirt, and a blue sweatervest. Ed's khakis sag at his ankles, a long-sleeve button-up, as well as a mossy green sweatervest. Lastly, Double D is presented in fitted black slacks, a tucked long-sleeve button-up, and light blue sweatervest.

Eddy: "Why are you the only one that looks decent?"  
Double D: "I am just wearing my attire as it is supposed to be worn. Mother and father wanted me to look my best and got me this Aquaberry vest." He giggles at the rhyme. "They're quiet costly, I admit."  
Ed: "Oooh~ Let me wear it Double D!" He reaches to take the cloth but Double D stops him.  
Edd: "No, Ed. I cannot afford any damage to my new clothes." Ed whimpers.

The bus halts in front of the school gate and the kids proceed to exit the vehicle.

Sarah: "Move it!" She shoves Eddy out of the way as she and Jimmy enter the campus. Jimmy is wearing the same attire as Ed, only fitted. Sarah wears a tucked short-sleeve button-up and a red bowtie, as well as a moss green plaid skirt.  
Kevin: "I can't believe I'm here with these losers." He side-eyes the Eds. Kevin only wears a button up and jeans. Nazz follows, wearing the same attire as Sarah, but with a moss plaid tie. Rolf and Johnny are next in jeans, a short button-up, and moss vest.  
Nazz: "Whoa mean gargoyles, huh Rolf."  
Rolf: "Yes, mischievous devils these winged creepers, like the ones at the farm."  
Johnny: "Woohoo, new school! Plank's excited out of his mind!" Johnny rolls with Plank out the bus.

Ms. Danvers: "Welcome to Bullworth Academy. I assume you all will be very happy here." She hands each kid a paper of their classes and dorm room. "Your parents have already discussed the issues with the principal, Dr. Crabblesnitch." A few snort at the name and she scowls at them to silence. "Your things have already been sent to your rooms, I suppose you shall do the same." She descends back to the main building as the kids split to their respective dorms.

Jimmy: "Sarah…?" His knees shake nervously.  
Sarah: "Don't worry, Jimmy. I'm right across from you. Shout if anyone tries to mess with you…I'll smash 'em into the ground." She smiles at her friend reassuringly.  
Ed: "Baby sister, have fun at your new cozy lair of smelly flowers and pink schmutz!" A couple girls laugh under their breaths as Sarah growls at her brother.

The boys enter their dorm and go over their papers.  
Eddy: "Hey, Double D. What's your room number?"  
Double D: "I'm afraid we're not roommates, Eddy. Look." _Roommate: James Hopkins_  
Eddy: _*groan*_ "What about you, Ed?"  
Ed: "Sorry, Eddy." _Roommate: Peter Kowalski_  
Eddy: "Drats! Then who am I stuck with?!"  
Double D: "Read here, Eddy." He points at the small print under the dorm number on Eddy's paper.

 _Roommate: Algernon_  
Eddy: "Who the heck is Algernon?"  
Algie: "U-uhm. That'd be me." In front of Eddy was a plus-sized, curly-haired, four-eyed boy, with his zipper undone you can see his briefs and had a scratchy voice.  
Eddy: " _AAHhhh!_ Sockhead, switch roommates with me!"  
Double D: "I'm afraid I can't do that Eddy. Why don't you try and be friends with the lad?" Eddy looks back at the nerdy looking stranger. He swore if he concentrated he could smell urine.  
Eddy: "Lumpy, you'll switch with me won't you?!"  
Ed: "No can do, Eddy." Ed continues to hug his new and confused roommate.  
Petey: "Can't…breathe..."

Eddy looks around for others to switch with. Johnny was happy to switch, but his roommate, Kirby Olsen wouldn't budge. Says he'd rather have a loon in his dorm than a loudmouth. Rolf was fine with it, until Eddy found out his roommate was a giant bull that went by the name Ted. Jimmy didn't want to leave his new friend, Sheldon. Kevin and his roommate, Gary Smith didn't want to switch either. Eddy had no choice but to give up.  
Algie: "Wanna be friends?"  
Eddy: _*groan*_

Sarah and Nazz enter the girls' dorm to be greeted by other girls.  
Gloria: "You must be one of the new girls. I'm Gloria. Welcome to Bullworth-"  
Zoe: "-It's a dump. I'm Zoe."  
Nazz: "Hahaha, awesome. It's nice to meet you. I'm Nazz. This little dude is Sarah."  
Zoe: "Good to know there's some good coming into Bullworth. I just met some other new girls that just moved in to Blue Skies Industries. I tell ya, those three sisters are vicious."  
Nazz and Sarah: _*gulp*_ "Three? Sisters?" The Kankers appear up the stairs laughing mischievously. Other girls take notice.  
Lee: "Well, well. Looks like we're not the only ones who scurried over here from Peach Creek."  
May: "Hey, Marie. Aren't these the little twerps from the cul-de-sac?"  
Marie: *laughs* "It is, May. And look. It's your boyfriend's twerp baby sister! _'Saliva'_ "  
Sarah: _*grumbles under her breath*_ "It's Sarah, you bozos."  
May: "Big Ed is here?!" She jumps.  
Marie: "You know what this means, Lee."  
Lee: "Let's go find our men. _At the boys' dorm_." The trio leave the dorm laughing mischievously.

Mandy: "What's their deal? You all know each other?" Nazz and Sarah sweat nervously.  
Nazz: "Those guys lived at the Trailer Park near the cul-de-sac where we used to live. They…don't like anyone."  
Sarah: "Except my idiot brother and his friends."  
Lola: "What's their names?" She asks interested.  
Sarah and Nazz: "Ed, Edd, and Eddy." The room goes silent for a moment.  
Sarah: _*sighs*_ "My brother is Ed- one D. You'll know him, he always wears this dumb grin on his face. Edd- two Ds, everyone just calls him Double D." A couple girls laugh.  
Nazz: "Double D always wears a beanie. And then there's Eddy."  
Sarah: "The biggest lunkhead of all! My advice, never give him money."  
Nazz: "Those three are inseparable, it's sweet-"  
Sarah: "-And annoying."  
Christy: "They sound cool."  
Sarah: "Oh no, they're Losers."  
Christy: "Oh…Well, anyway. What's your room numbers?"  
The girls went over their room situation. Sarah was roomed with Gloria and Nazz was roomed with Eunice Pound.  
Mandy: "You poor, poor thing…Good luck." But Nazz didn't mind.  
Zoe: "Like you're one to talk, you're stuck with the blue-haired Kanker sore." She laughs as Mandy scowls at her.  
Pinky: "But Zoe aren't you with the blonde bucky?"  
Zoe: "That's Beatrice."  
Beatrice: "Hey!"  
Christy: "Uhm, excuse me. I'm the unlucky one that's stuck with that tragedy."  
Lola: "Yes~ And we feel so sorry for you." She says sarcastically.  
Nazz: "Actually Lola,I think we'd feel sorry for _you_. You don't got Lee as your roommate?" Lola scoffs.

Double D opens and stands by the door to his new room: "Hello?"  
Gary shoves Double D inside the room: "What're you standin' around for Cups? Just get In."  
Double D: "I-I just thought that it'd be rude to walk in unannounced , I am a new roommate after all. Oh, and I'll appreciate it if you didn't call me 'Cups'"  
Gary: "I wouldn't worry about that, my friend." He lies on the roommate's bed without a second thought.  
Double D: "Friend…Wait, aren't you Kevin's roommate? If you don't mind me asking, why are you here?"  
Gary: "Just dropping by on the old sap."  
Eddy appears in the room: "Oh, so you'd switch roommates with him but not me, huh?!"  
Double D: "Eddy, you've got it all wrong. Gary here was only visiting."  
Gary: "Yeah relax, tough guy. I'm just hanging around."  
James: "And now, you have to leave." Eddy laughs at Gary. "You too, pipsqueak." Eddy growls as James looks toward Double D. "Are you the new roommate I was told about?"  
Double D: "Why, yes. My name is Eddward, that's two D's, but friends call me Double D."  
James: "Your friends name you after a bra?"  
Double D: "Uh- No." He chuckles. " This here, is my friend Eddy." Eddy frowns at James and James frowns back. "And Ed-"  
Ed: "Double D, did you meet your new room buddy yet?!" He springs into the scene with Petey in hand, whose got the wind knocked out of him.  
Double D: "Yes Ed." He returns to his roommate. "This is Edward as well."  
Ed: He shakes James's hand excessively. "Hello! My name is Ed!"  
James yanks his hand away: "Jimmy Hopkins. Hey Pete."  
Gary: "Femme Boy! Good to see ya."  
Petey: "Hey Gary… Hey Jimmy. Guess what, Ed's my new roommate."  
James: "Lucky you."  
Double D: "We also have a friend named Jimmy! Although he's quite younger." They look out in the hall to find a young Jimmy being taunted by Trent. James scowls at Trent to cease the bullying and he stops.  
James: "Well then, you can call me Hopkins if you want." The boys agree without problem.  
Ed: "Clever names, huh guys."  
Hopkins: "Whatever."  
Gary: "This guy got screws loose in his head or what?"  
Double D: "We don't question it."

The Eds, Hopkins, Pete, and Gary exit the dorm.  
Hopkins: "So, you're a Prep, Double D?"  
Gary: "You seem more like a Nerd."  
Double D: "I wouldn't call myself a Prep. My parents bought me this vest so I may look as presentable as I can be."  
Hopkins, Pete, and Gary: "So, Prep."  
Double D: "On the contrary, I would gladly be a Nerd."  
Gary: "Shhh- Don't let them hear you, you dolt. Wow you're not gonna last a day in this school, I'm tellin' ya."  
Eddy: "Yeah Double D, you really wanna be that guy at a new school? That'll never get you chicks."  
Ed: "Yucky, smelly, girls Eddy- UUhm- guys…" He points forward.  
Eddy: "What Ed?"  
Ed: "K-K-KA-" The Eds face forward at the girls dorm.  
Eds: _"Kankers!"_ The Kanker sisters collide with the Eds and into bear hugs and pin them on the ground.  
Gary, Hopkins, and Pete: "WTF"  
Petey: "I think you got the 'getting chicks' part down."  
Gary: "Hoho- man! You Eds pick up quick."  
Hopkins: "I think they're dying."

Eddy: "Save me!"  
Lee: "We missed you, stud muffins."  
Double D: "Ladies, please refrain from any further actions!"  
Marie: "Pucker up, Puddin."  
May: "I thought we'd never see each other again!"  
Ed: "Yucky, smelly, mushy girls, Double D!" 

A/N: All I got so far. Feels good to get this out of my system 0_0;


End file.
